Dave H. Recovery—The Blog
Dave H. turned three decades of recovery into a book, a podcast, and this blog for family members of people with addiction. The Practice of Imperfection offers practical Al‑Anon‑based tools, essays, and workshops. Take what helps and leave the rest.
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The Practice of Imperfection Arrives January 5, 2027
I'm happy to share that my first book, The Practice of Imperfection: Finding and Keeping Serenity will be released on January 5, 2027, from Fulcourt Press. It's a book for family members and friends of people with addiction, and it rests on one idea I've come to trust: your serenity doesn't depend on whether they get sober.
Self-Worth Is an Inside Job
Healthy self-worth isn't something any of us were born with. It develops over time, the same way the rest of recovery does, by replacing old beliefs with truer ones, one honest action at a time. You start where you actually are today, not where you wish you were, and you let the next right action do the work instead of waiting for the feeling to show up first.
Whose Attitude Are You Actually Praying to Change?
Prayer, in this practice, isn't a request list handed to a Higher Power for someone else's behavior. It's a humble ask on my own behalf: Guide me. I have a decision to make. I have behavior I want to change. Change me. And meditation is the quiet listening that follows — not emptying the mind, which can't really be done, but observing it.
Helping Is the Sunny Side of Control
I still catch myself wanting people to appreciate my help. That's the whole engine underneath it, most days. It's all happening in my head. I'm doing it so I'll feel better, not because anyone asked
Frustration Multiplies
When I met people who weren’t bothered by the wrongness that surrounded us, I was shocked. Incredulous, even. “If you’re not outraged, you’re not paying attention” was the catchphrase of my people. Gradually, I met more and more people who were letting things “roll off their backs” and I was… frustrated by that. How can they not let it bother them? This was long before I ever found Al-Anon.
When Letting Go Still Includes Parenting
A parent can understand the idea of letting go and still be awake after midnight, checking a phone again. Loving responsibility has limits, even with a minor child.